should I change my blog

So what can I write about that might interest the general public? Some thing perhaps besides building a log home although I like the idea of having this on going journal of our own progress on the log home but the truth is it even bores me some,when it comes to rereading it.

what no one knows

I guess some how I seem to have the time to be a prolific writer. Now I know that's a crock but, the folks I know don't seem to get around much anymore.
Its so easy to get caught up in the bull that goes on, you know we all go there, even if it is by accident or morbid curio or perhaps innocence? But facebook and e-mails and blogs, cell phones etc. etc. and here is me thinking wow this is great, no more isolation, maybe a network of creative beings and they are, I know them but...
but, it's a virtual reality. So maybe its me with out a life??
I don't know, doesn't feel that way. But it does feel like no one can read and like no one is interested in me enough to go looking for a blog about my life, and ya I am talking about the people I know.Maybe what I am saying is uninteresting, no it's more like overload.So much goes on, on the Internet that unless you are way bad, its boring.Like I said no one truly reads unless its a chosen thing, but to read just to read something well...........
for now

WHERE THERES SMOKE THERES FIRE

Well it seems that my dog has hip dysplasia, that is a serious bummer.I have decided to let it ride for a while and see how its going to work out. I know that I want newfoundland dogs now anyway and that I want to try to get one that has her hips tested at like six weeks which I guess they can do. She is my dog, but i can not stand the idea of her hurting, breaks my heart.So she has been big on my mind lately.
I could write a couple e-mails and see how things are looking I guess.
I do not feel myself here lately and I am not to sure why? I feel a little set back on the house? Scared of it all. Yes I am scared of it. It is my design so what happens if it's not a good one? I can not help but step back and be a little more reserved because Andy has such a slow approach to things that it contradicts my enthusiasm.I just seem to feel dis con bobble ated!!!!whew.
I feel distant,humm. All this hurry up and wait. No real decisions being made? Tile, metal roof,driveways, water, you can go over it fifty times with Andy and make a decision with him get up the next morning and he goes back to square one all over again,. Me I say cut to the chase, right or wrong, let her rain. We are about 50/50. Pretty even.I know I respect Andy tremendously.Much as I hate to admit it.Ha Ha.
This is all part of the flippen process and for a poor little Irish bitch with more guts than glory, it gets a bit, shall I say boring? How the hell can that be?
Here I am building a dream house that I designed with a great guy and a picture perfect family, but just ain't no smoke and magic baby. Thats how. I know it too. Its so perfect its boring. Oh shit I am busting a gut at myself. Ha flipping Ha Ha. I can just hear my mom she'd be the first one all over this. In other words you can take the girl out of the engerbretson but you can't take the engerbretson out of the girl. I know what I am saying it just don't make any sense to me either.Jokes, no it does, there just ain't no changing it. I am more than cool with it though and I realise it's an inside job. I can create my way to all the smoke and magic I need.And in the end it will be the best smoke and magic of all.And I could not do it with out Andy being methodical.So bless his heart. Ever notice how I like the word, or non word "ain't" so much,yep she is one of my favorites.

boys believe in magic

well whats on my mind? Love, young love. That feeling all bunched up inside of you. The one you don't understand that smothers you like a sultry thunderstorm when all you want is rain. That tiny taste of sweet when you suck the nectar out of a flower.
When else have you had that. That kind of intense passion, just by a mere conversation. His shirt. His walk. His laugh, his dimples that destroy you.First love..Love's.The sweetness of a young girl. I was that young girl once,I am talking about fourteen, fifteen years old. Just to be around the boys,Tim,Jay,Jeff I never did anything sexual with any of them. Jeff kissed me but They all loved me ... they really loved me. They worshiped me to the point they could never touch me.I was so young and innocent.I trusted them with all my heart. But now thirty five years later looking back, I miss it all.I miss them the way they were.Men now seem so jaded, but boys, they still believe in magic.I will always love them for that and I will always be that girl to them.

Newfie,my girl

Kind of a rough day here, My Newfoundland puppy fell out of the back of a truck at the ranch. She hurt her hind leg somehow. I realised in one instant how much my dog meant to me. The world. She is my partner and my baby. Man she is a good dog. Hands down the best dog I have ever had.So this morning I am on my way to a vet.I ll take her in to my old Vet in Missoula.He has always been so good to me and mine. Poor baby she rides so good in the back and all the dogs at the ranch ride on and in the pickups. I worried about that with her but she just rode perfect for the last couple weeks. Yesterday I made the mistake of talking tho her out my window, she immediately tried to come to me and got up on the side of the bed of the truck and lost her balance started over head first,then her hind in swapped and she hit on her left hip and hind leg first. I ran to her and she ran to me, but she had hit hard enough to cause her to have a bowel movement, and she was quite dazed. She just wanted me. We took her to the creek and bathed her off and she spent the rest of the day laying down,she can't put any weight on the leg and she cry's when she tries to stand.For now on my way to the vet.